I’ve spent some time on social media, reading about boys as young as 10 years-old, committing suicide because their dads killed themselves. They wanted to follow their dads.
Because of this, I have decided to add to my article on suicide, with a story from my life.
I went through school, K-12 with a boy I’ll call ‘Boy’.
His parents divorced, leaving ‘Boy’ to his dad's parents to raise. (his grandparents)
His younger brother, ‘Brother’, was to be raised by the mother's parents.
The two brothers were raised apart, in different towns.
It seems that neither of the bio-parents wanted to raise the children they created.
So much selfishness, as you will see.
'Boy's' father, at some point, married a cousin of mine, who had children from a previous marriage, and he helped raise those children, while his own sons were raised by someone else.
That had to hurt ‘Boy’ and 'Brother'.
Though "Boy' and I rode the school bus together for years, he never talked about it to me.
'Boy’ and I grew up, and at age 19, ‘Boy' had a pretty girlfriend, named ‘Girlfriend’. We expected them to marry.
Then one weekend, ‘Boy’ got mixed up with an older woman.
Apparently they got physically romantic, even though 'Boy' was dating 'Girlfriend'.
There was likely alcohol involved.
Sometime after the weekend was over, ‘Boy’ killed himself.
(I don’t know if Girlfriend found out about the tryst, but 'Boy' felt guilty.)
'Boy's' suicide caused waves and layers of grief throughout 'Boy’s' family, grief in 'Girlfriend' and her family, and in our community.
I remember crying on my mom’s shoulder when she told me about it.
But it got worse.
'Girlfriend' was so grieved, 'Girlfriend' killed herself too.
Even more waves and layers of grief, especially in the neighboring town, where she was raised.
But there is even more.
'Boy’s' dad, remember him, married to my cousin?
A few years later, he shot and killed my cousin in their backyard and then killed himself with the same gun.
Here are a few thoughts I have distilled from these experiences:
1) Suicide is a poor way to repent, for it hurts other people, often far more than the original offence.
2) Brave people don’t kill others to make their own lives easier, and brave people don't kill themselves
to escape the consequences they have created for themselves.
For they pass their pain on to others, and that is not fair in the littlest-bit.
3) Another hard truth is this: Some people kill themselves when in trouble, to try to turn people’s anger into sympathy.
This is a form of manipulation. That is so mean to the people that care about them, and any children that need them.
4) It’s is not good to try to follow someone who has killed themself.
Because suicide always causes waves and layers of grief to those left behind.
No one has the right to cause that much pain to someone else.
Suicide, no matter its intention, is selfish, because of the pain it causes others.
No one has the right to be that selfish toward others they supposedly love.
Eric J. Rose